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Tristan Elevated Bloon
Staff Message : i'm tristan Posts : 15097 Age : 28 Fuji Bucks™ : 18746 Reputation : 42
| Subject: The Shit List Tue May 04, 2010 9:35 pm | |
| The Ghost Shit The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper, but there's no shit in the bowl.
The Clean Shit The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there's no shit on the toilet paper.
The Wet Shit You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.
The Second Wave Shit This shit happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more.
The Brain Hemorrahage Through Your Nose Shit Also known as "Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit". You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.
The Corn Shit No explanation necessary.
The Lincoln Log Shit The kind of shit that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.
The Nororius Drinker Shit The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush.
The "Gee, I Really Wish I Could Shit" Shit The kind where you want to shit, but even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.
The Wet Cheeks Shit Also known as the "Power Dump". That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.
The Liquid Shit That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.
The Mexican Food Shit A class all on its own.
The Crowd Pleaser This shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing.
The Mood Enhancer This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again.
The Ritual This shit occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper.
The Guinness Book Of Records Shit A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.
The Aftershock Shit This shit has an odour so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next seven hours is affected.
The "Honeymoon's Over" Shit This is any shit created in the presence of another person.
The Groaner A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.
The Floater Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to resurface after many flushings.
The Ranger A shit which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.
The Phantom Shit This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.
The Peek-A-Boo Shit Now you see it, now you don't. This shit is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control.
The Bombshell A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to shit (i.e. during lovemaking or a root canal) or you are nowhere near shitting facilities.
The Snake Charmer A long skinny shit which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position - usually harmless.
The Olympic Shit This shit occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinker's Shit.
The Back-To-Nature Shit This shit may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.
The Pebbles-From-Heaven Shit An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can't shit.
Premeditated Shit Laxative induced. Doesn't count.
Shitzopherenia Fear of shitting - can be fatal!
Energizer Vs. Duracell Shit Also known as a "Still Going" shit.
The Power Dump Shit The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you're done.
The Liquid Plumber Shit This kind of shit is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor. (You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log Shit.)
The Spinal Tap Shit The kind of shit that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.
The "I Think I'm Giving Birth Through My Asshole" Shit Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap Shits. The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards.
The Porridge Shit The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: a) flush and keep going, or b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.
The "I'm Going To Chew My Food Better" Shit When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning.
The "I Think I'm Turning Into A Bunny" Shit When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.
The "What The Hell Died In Here?" Shit Also sometimes referred to as "The Toxic Dump". Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air. |
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Interfan Power Shake
Posts : 1988 Age : 26 Fuji Bucks™ : 2894 Reputation : 68
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Tue May 04, 2010 10:02 pm | |
| ROFL. LMAO. LOL. Thats all I can say. |
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Skweekers Rising Blaze
Posts : 1252 Age : 28 Fuji Bucks™ : 3195 Reputation : 26
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Tue May 04, 2010 10:11 pm | |
| lmao, ew. why did i read all that!? |
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Alyrox2009 Squeaky Clean
Posts : 282 Age : 26 Fuji Bucks™ : 1344 Reputation : 1
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Tue May 04, 2010 10:18 pm | |
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JesterDon IVVVI Moderator
Posts : 4769 Age : 31 Fuji Bucks™ : 4724 Reputation : 229
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Tue May 04, 2010 10:28 pm | |
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Tristan Elevated Bloon
Staff Message : i'm tristan Posts : 15097 Age : 28 Fuji Bucks™ : 18746 Reputation : 42
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Tue May 04, 2010 10:28 pm | |
| - Skweekers wrote:
- lmao, ew. why did i read all that!?
I asked myself the same thing.. |
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Invisifly2 Marine Glory
Posts : 2824 Fuji Bucks™ : 2989 Reputation : 43
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Tue May 04, 2010 10:38 pm | |
| Thats good shit right there. |
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Syfte Co-Administrator
Posts : 4261 Age : 25 Fuji Bucks™ : 2665 Reputation : 105
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Tue May 04, 2010 10:39 pm | |
| Hahaha, nice. Gave me some laughs. |
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Frist Rising Blaze
Posts : 1161 Age : 26 Fuji Bucks™ : 1028 Reputation : 15
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Tue May 04, 2010 10:39 pm | |
| this is the funniest yet most disturbing thing ever |
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SF Fuji Imp
Posts : 3388 Age : 68 Fuji Bucks™ : 9157 Reputation : 76
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Tue May 04, 2010 10:46 pm | |
| I'm not even gunna read past the first one, lol. |
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dude445 Squeaky Clean
Posts : 310 Age : 27 Fuji Bucks™ : 1359 Reputation : 5
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Tue May 04, 2010 10:50 pm | |
| The rebel shit: You have been needing to shit badly for the past hour, You poop with all your might, But it does not come out. The end result comes a shit firing out, leaving you with an ass full of pain. |
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Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Tue May 04, 2010 10:57 pm | |
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Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Wed May 05, 2010 12:21 am | |
| Funniest shit ever. Pun intended. |
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Interfan Power Shake
Posts : 1988 Age : 26 Fuji Bucks™ : 2894 Reputation : 68
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Wed May 05, 2010 1:12 am | |
| I had the Phantom shit one day. 800th Post |
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CAPS LOCK Power Shake
Posts : 1527 Age : 28 Fuji Bucks™ : 1708 Reputation : 62
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Wed May 05, 2010 2:10 am | |
| That was so fucking funny |
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P00pinshniver White Knight
Staff Message : I am P00pinshniver, Fuji Planet's soccer player Posts : 7031 Age : 28 Fuji Bucks™ : 16035 Reputation : 50
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Wed May 05, 2010 2:34 am | |
| Most of those happen to me everyday |
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Invisifly2 Marine Glory
Posts : 2824 Fuji Bucks™ : 2989 Reputation : 43
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Wed May 05, 2010 3:28 pm | |
| Although i just realized, how could you forget the classic "Chillibowl"? |
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Don'ttouchmyfrigginmuffin Untamed Beast
Posts : 2163 Age : 26 Fuji Bucks™ : 1754 Reputation : -1
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Wed May 05, 2010 3:38 pm | |
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Frist Rising Blaze
Posts : 1161 Age : 26 Fuji Bucks™ : 1028 Reputation : 15
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Wed May 05, 2010 3:42 pm | |
| double-take shit:
You shit for a little while, and when you think your done, you stand up and suddenly start shitting again |
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Don'ttouchmyfrigginmuffin Untamed Beast
Posts : 2163 Age : 26 Fuji Bucks™ : 1754 Reputation : -1
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Wed May 05, 2010 3:47 pm | |
| Actually one day (true story) i just had a piss and when i stood up there was a in the center of the bowl i was like WTF! the shit was like without the hands but kept swerving left to right |
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Chainy Apolcalypse Survivor
Staff Message : :3 :3 :3 :3 <3 Posts : 10058 Fuji Bucks™ : 6386 Reputation : 300
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Wed May 05, 2010 4:03 pm | |
| Am I the only one who recognizes all this? |
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Abhor Power Shake
Posts : 1759 Age : 30 Fuji Bucks™ : 3384 Reputation : 56
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Wed May 05, 2010 4:05 pm | |
| I've had a shitload of those. |
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Chainy Apolcalypse Survivor
Staff Message : :3 :3 :3 :3 <3 Posts : 10058 Fuji Bucks™ : 6386 Reputation : 300
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Wed May 05, 2010 4:09 pm | |
| Lol, shitload . |
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JesterDon IVVVI Moderator
Posts : 4769 Age : 31 Fuji Bucks™ : 4724 Reputation : 229
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Wed May 05, 2010 6:55 pm | |
| Synnical thats just disgusting! |
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Tristan Elevated Bloon
Staff Message : i'm tristan Posts : 15097 Age : 28 Fuji Bucks™ : 18746 Reputation : 42
| Subject: Re: The Shit List Wed May 05, 2010 6:57 pm | |
| - Rehua wrote:
- Am I the only one who recognizes all this?
It's from urban dictionary, lol. |
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