I know what you're all thinking: "what kind of moron writes a self review about a smiley?" Well, this isn't technically a review on just one smiley. It's a review of six different colored jumping smileys grouped into one single emoticon unit.


In case you're slow at catching on to topics, or you're just plain stupid, I'll tell you right now that I'm writing a review about those six jumping smileys directly above this text. If you're still sitting there scratching your beard about what the hell this review is about, I'll give you a second identical picture of the topic.


Behold! Six smileys jumping up and down in the same order over and over again! Despite the fact that this simple animation scheme is incredibly simple and boring, you still can't keep your eyes off them, can you. No matter how many times you've watched these little guys jump up and down in the exact same order, you have to see them do it "just one more time" so you can see the exact order that they jumped in the previous time, as though they changed their sequence just that one time. "But wait, I could have sworn it changed this time!" This is the attitude that keeps your eyes fixed on these little devils.

Why should I use this emoticon?
-It moves quickly enough to catch the eye of any person between the age of 4 and 75, but not too quickly that you miss it altogether.
-It makes any boring post readable. For example, this review. You wouldn't have gotten this far had it not been for those six dancing demons. We all know that we would have all memorized the United States Constitution if it had just a few smileys in it, especially moving ones, and this one catches the eye better than the rest.
-It has an infectious disco beat if you play it to the right song.

Why shouldn't I use this emoticon?
-You can't stop watching it. It keeps people reading posts for longer periods of time than necessary. This could also be viewed as a good thing, but only if you're incredibly desperate for page views, which I'm not at this time.
-It takes up way too much space and leaves huge gaps between itself and the text, making the only place to put this emoticon without it looking like it has a huge forehead would be at the beginning, and who puts a smiley at the beginning of a post?
-It strains the eyes after a while, making it less likely for you to want to read posts and therefore influencing you to log out before you need to.
-There's no humor in it at all. Unlike the dancing-banana-with-a-joint emoticon, which combines drug humor with a dancing banana to make it seem like it should be funny, this jumping-smiley emoticon has no attempt at humor at all.
-It's rather useless. Unless your topic has some correlation to jumping or the number 6, you really don't need this emoticon. Catching one's eye is the only real purpose of this little joke of animation.

Well, that concludes my review of the six-jumping-smiley emoticon. In case you forgot which one it was and/or are too lazy to scroll back up to look at it, here it is. One more time.

I give the review a 10/10 that was very well worded XD.

Your reviews are the best xD

Thank you, both of you.

This is an amazing review.

A weird topic to review.. but nice.. er, selfed

It just shows that absolutely anything can be reviewed.

Lol, I didnt expect this, but nice.

Lol, this is probably the only review I fully read.

Best weird review!

I just have one question Ernie. I'm perplexed by the fact that your name is not dark red at this moment of time . Why is that?

Jake wrote:

I just have one question Ernie. I'm perplexed by the fact that your name is not dark red at this moment of time . Why is that?

Because it is I. I have yet to post a review, but when I do...

Look foward to reading it soon.

Jake wrote:

I just have one question Ernie. I'm perplexed by the fact that your name is not dark red at this moment of time . Why is that?

This puzzles me too. Must have to do with the fact that Cyclone, the head reviewer, somehow managed to break his computer while he was asleep.

Ernie wrote:

Jake wrote:

I just have one question Ernie. I'm perplexed by the fact that your name is not dark red at this moment of time . Why is that?

This puzzles me too. Must have to do with the fact that Cyclone, the head reviewer, somehow managed to break his computer while he was asleep.

That might be the reason why your name remains the same color.

Well, the dark red may come later. For now, you can check out my new review in the unselfed section.