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Bart
White Knight
Posts : 6505
Age : 26
Fuji Bucks™ : 13566
Reputation : 56
 |  Subject: Funny Jokes Sat Apr 17, 2010 8:17 am | |
| Here is one:
When Facebook, Twitter, Myspace and Youtube join together to make a site, the name would be called YouTwitterMyFace |
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Chainy
Apolcalypse Survivor
Staff Message : :3 :3 :3 :3 <3
Posts : 10058
Fuji Bucks™ : 6386
Reputation : 300
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Sat Apr 17, 2010 9:13 am | |
| That wasn't funny.. :s
I would post some, but I won't. (Hah) |
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Chip
Friendly Fiend
Posts : 816
Age : 29
Fuji Bucks™ : 3661
Reputation : 32
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Sat Apr 17, 2010 9:38 am | |
| OK, Ive got a couple jokes.... What doesn't a chicken coupe have 4 doors? - Spoiler:
cause then it would be a chicken sedan!
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips? - Spoiler:
a chipmonk!
Why did the tomato turn red? - Spoiler:
it saw the salad dressing!
I know, they're corny  |
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Yes Im Am
Elevated Bloon
Staff Message : This guy's the bee's knees, man.
Posts : 15686
Age : 28
Fuji Bucks™ : 19434
Reputation : 75
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Sat Apr 17, 2010 9:39 am | |
| I thought they were good. |
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Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Sat Apr 17, 2010 9:58 am | |
| They were corny Chip, very corny. But good. |
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Chainy
Apolcalypse Survivor
Staff Message : :3 :3 :3 :3 <3
Posts : 10058
Fuji Bucks™ : 6386
Reputation : 300
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Sat Apr 17, 2010 11:29 am | |
| It got crowded in heaven so, for one day and one day only, it was decided to only accept people who had really bad day on the day they died.
St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died." The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, of which I died from."
St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in. He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"
St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job. "Tell me about the day you died?” he said to the third man in line. "OK, picture this; I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...." |
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Invisifly2
Marine Glory
Posts : 2824
Fuji Bucks™ : 2989
Reputation : 43
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Sat Apr 17, 2010 3:05 pm | |
| lawl chain, that is epic. - Spoiler:
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. The whole Venus and Mars thing. Why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.Well,
the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them
all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get
a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she
picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave
short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she
asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted
out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff
for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she
had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just
love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
Last edited by Invisifly2 on Sat Apr 17, 2010 3:09 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Sat Apr 17, 2010 3:07 pm | |
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Tristan
Elevated Bloon
Staff Message : i'm tristan
Posts : 15097
Age : 28
Fuji Bucks™ : 18746
Reputation : 42
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Sat Apr 17, 2010 3:12 pm | |
| That was pretty funny Chain. It'd be even better if you made it up. |
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Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Sat Apr 17, 2010 3:15 pm | |
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Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Sat Apr 17, 2010 7:36 pm | |
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Abhor
Power Shake
Posts : 1759
Age : 30
Fuji Bucks™ : 3384
Reputation : 56
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Sat Apr 17, 2010 8:25 pm | |
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Invisifly2
Marine Glory
Posts : 2824
Fuji Bucks™ : 2989
Reputation : 43
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Sun Apr 18, 2010 2:54 am | |
| thank you, thank you, ill be here all night. |
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Jim
White Knight
Posts : 7745
Age : 30
Fuji Bucks™ : 4494
Reputation : 157
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Sun Apr 18, 2010 4:51 am | |
| Why did the chicken cross the road....
TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!!!!! |
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Bart
White Knight
Posts : 6505
Age : 26
Fuji Bucks™ : 13566
Reputation : 56
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Sun Apr 18, 2010 6:57 am | |
| Will more of a question than a joke, but it's still funny. Your in a gay club, you drop your wallet, what would you do?: a) Bend over and pick it up or b) Kick it out the door and pick it up. Answer: - Spoiler:
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE GAY CLUB!?!?!?!!?
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Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Sun Apr 18, 2010 10:18 am | |
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Invisifly2
Marine Glory
Posts : 2824
Fuji Bucks™ : 2989
Reputation : 43
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Sun Apr 18, 2010 10:41 am | |
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Lsquared
Squeaky Clean
Posts : 365
Age : 28
Fuji Bucks™ : 2005
Reputation : 7
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Sun Apr 18, 2010 12:01 pm | |
| A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume. The mathematician measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral. The physicist put the ball in a beaker of water and measured the displacement. The engineer looked up the model and serial number in his red-rubber-ball table. |
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Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Sun Apr 18, 2010 12:08 pm | |
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Lsquared
Squeaky Clean
Posts : 365
Age : 28
Fuji Bucks™ : 2005
Reputation : 7
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Mon May 03, 2010 9:32 pm | |
| - Whatif wrote:
- I don't really get it
It's kind of saying engineers don't do any real work. Sorry for the semi-bump. |
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Abhor
Power Shake
Posts : 1759
Age : 30
Fuji Bucks™ : 3384
Reputation : 56
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Mon May 03, 2010 9:47 pm | |
| - Lsquared wrote:
- Whatif wrote:
- I don't really get it
It's kind of saying engineers don't do any real work.
Sorry for the semi-bump. Which is why it's such a stupid joke, because engineers do more than physicists and mathematicians. - Spoiler:
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
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Bart
White Knight
Posts : 6505
Age : 26
Fuji Bucks™ : 13566
Reputation : 56
| | Subject: Re: Funny Jokes Tue May 04, 2010 8:02 am | |
| - Abhor wrote:
- Lsquared wrote:
- Whatif wrote:
- I don't really get it
It's kind of saying engineers don't do any real work.
Sorry for the semi-bump.
Which is why it's such a stupid joke, because engineers do more than physicists and mathematicians.
- Spoiler:
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
Abhor's was Pure Win. |
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