Hello, this is @realRutzy342. Uh, I'm not a pedophile, although I suppose I don't know how to prove that. In fact, I claimed I was three years older than I actually was -- what you got was the genuine article of an awkward kid with absentee parents who started to learn all manners of unsavory things on the internet and didn't have the social awareness yet to not blabber on about it. With that said -- a sincere apology is in order to anyone that I made uncomfortable, along with an earnest acknowledgment that my behavior sucked. I had a lot of personal issues back then and the only outlets I knew were humor and controversy for its own sake; naively I considered those things to be equivalent for far too long.
In any case, I don't want to make this post my own pity party. The reason I'm here is because I incidentally met an actual person with the last name "Rutz" and immediately felt the nostalgia for my internet incipience coming on. My memories of this place are vague, and attempting to piece it together Memento-style from my post history quickly proved to be unpleasant. But I'll resist the urge to delete or alter anything, since I'm ultimately still a sentimental sad sack. Maybe others can empathize with this odd conflagration of emotions?
What I
do remember about Fuji is surprisingly vivid. (Like my password, which apparently I shared with at least
two others!) By the way, never thought I'd be using
BBCode in
fucking - Scary number:
2024.
YEM, Bonnie, Skweeks, Mel, Der, DG, Chain, Dan, Faz, Jshush, Katanga... plenty more I'm forgetting. All of you and your quirks have a unique place in my heart. The interactions we all had here, as idiotic and inconsequential as they often were, mean a lot more to me now than I ever could have thought they would at the time. Thank you for participating in this forum (and Bloonsworld/MyNinjaKiwi) with me. If I was able to impart even a fraction of that meaning to just one other person, then perhaps the countless hours of my life drained here weren't in vain.
Briane deserves a specific mention. Admittedly, I do remember you mostly as the communal punching bag. But I've read through all your more recent posts and am quite humbled by the level of maturity and willingness to be vulnerable that you display. On a serious note, I cannot begin to imagine how devastating losing your wife to cancer must have been; your resolve after the fact is inspiring. The two of you clearly had a deep connection, and I'm certain she'd still want to see you being your happiest possible self with someone else very special.
I'm hesitant to share what I'm doing these days -- I'm somewhat of an internet paranoiac now. However, if you're inclined to reach out, for old time's sake...
Discord: synergyaddict
Email: sleuth@ruthtruth.org
